I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
4 words: hood of his car
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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