my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
vagina is talking i cant
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
