Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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