I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
