i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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