Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
