Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Panties = found
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
