i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
