Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
