and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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