hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
