2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
