Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
