operation harelip BJ is a go
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
