dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's blow job season.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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