i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
