So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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