If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
