all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
