She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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