Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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