so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
barbara walters just said penis...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
