I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
