it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
