Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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