It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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