Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
