I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
