Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
