He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
