why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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