By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Panties = found
Randomize
