I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My dick has a subreddit
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
