she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
