i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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