wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
