My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
