Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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