covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
