The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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