Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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