as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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