god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Terrible idea I love it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
