Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
