I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
