Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
