I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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