Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
