I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
