I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
