Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
